constant spiral

Reading Aristotle has been a remarkable experience. The reading for this week’s lectures are metaphysics (book 1), topics and post. an.. I read all this in one go a couple of days ago and had about 20 sticky notes with “?!?” Written on them. If you recall, I was mad at myself for not having bought the book earlier (amazon carries it for $15 less, but shipping takes any from 1-2 months and I didn’t exactly plan ahead). Anyway, I gave all these pages another go last week and eradicated about half of those WTFs. And then last night, I more or less understood what I was reading. Today in lecture, my professor confirmed most of my understandings of the text. It felt so good! I love it when things like this happen, because it reminds me how important and useful it is to read things multiple times. This also gives me confidence in my ability to read critically. It’s never easy, but it is all worth it!

It’s funny how I consistently underestimate the magnitude of a seemingly insignificant thing. I remember being obsessed with Melba toast in middle school. I thought I was being so cool and ‘grown-up’, eating microwave melted harvest cheese on those things. Some girl in my french lesson (this is outside school) asked during one of those inane ‘breaks’ “Is that Melba toast?” and I proudly exclaimed ‘yes!’ Till this day, I have no idea why she asked – and whether she got anything useful out of my answer. Did she hate Melba toast, and thus, anyone one who relishes in their inexplicable crunch? Was she craving for Melba toast and wanted some of mine (granted it didn’t have cheese on them)? So many questions, and all of them MAJORLY IMPORTANT and FRUSTRATING at the time. I can only laugh now. I think we all do when we look back on our youth.

I had a terrible night’s sleep – tossing and turning into the wee hours and scrambled out of bed at 8am to wash, dress, and run out to catch the 8:30am subway. I had an ice-capp last night because my Wednesdays are fiendishly long. It was only an ice capp, and being a java-junkie, i didn’t think much of it. But man, did I suffer through the night. I eventually fell asleep to the dulcet tones of my Shakespeare prof (whose lectures are really really great, but he’s got a really soft, subtle voice that you hate in class because you can’t hear the damn man (I had to sprint from my preceding class from the otherwise of campus to ensure that I got class in time to get a decent seat)). Anyway, suffice it to say that my head’s not in the greatest shape now, but I have so much reading and prep to do for next week, and I have a poetry deadline on Monday that hasn’t even sunk into my brain properly.

I had a pretty frustrating shopping experience today. Although the upside is that I only ended up spending $20 + tax on a northface hoodie (originally $60!!!), I also wasted a lot of time and energy picking and then ditching new winter coats. I can’t wait till I’ll fully independent, when my parents have no barring on what I buy/not buy.

I was supposed to skype with a friend early this evening to discuss and finalize reading week plans – but she never turned up. I detest that sort of thing. But I can’t even muster up the energy to be upset about it. Still, ARGHHHHH!

The 4th season of Cabin pressure started off on what I considered to be a weak episode. The voice actors are clearly trying to elevate the writing, but the story felt so stilted and inorganic. I hate that I feel this way, because I love Cabin Pressure (And not just because BC is in it. I really fell in love with the whole cast and their dynamics!)

I went to the gym today (and I shall spare you the thrilling tale of me being locked out of my locker because my lock suddenly decided to stop working. This ended with my lock being destroyed by a staff member) and did all my usual exercises, so I’m not even sure the soreness I’m feeling in my legs are due to inactivity or due to activity. Hahaa

I need to be more prudent with my spending. I’ve afraid that with the new semester, my sending habits are about to spiral out of control. I am consistently spending $15 on food on a single day. I used to be good at keeping it below $10. Time to bring my own coffee again~ And snacks!! Fruits! Stop buying biscotti singularly!

Sigh, i’m running out of steam and I haven’t started on my Plato and etc readings…

protagoras

its exhausting. but man, i’ve never had so much fun studying for a final before (logic was done and dusted last night. whew!) I’m only on my first of…many many dialogues and i know they won’t all be fun narratives like Protagoras…but GAH, i love this!!

I’m sure i’ll be reduced to an aporetic state soon enough though. so let me enjoy this, please~

term end in sight!

oh God, will i ever master the devil that is Modern Symbolic Logic? Just when I think I’ve got it pretty good, it springs an impossible question at me. Anyway – the only way I can survive it is by studying systematically. I’m on 6.3 right now and the final is on Tuesday (there are 7 units in total, but I for sure don’t know all my stuff for unit 5 or unit 7). My room is an utter mess, and I haven’t relaxed (save for the bouts of web surfing) in the last 3 weeks… After logic final is my Presocratics and Plato final… so yeah.

And i agreed to work through the holidays—so I won’t be getting much of a breather at all. People ask me why I work this much, I’ve not saving $ for anything in particular (heck, I window shop a ton, but I never actually spend this money. But i think I might treat myself this Xmas, a nice bag, nothing above $500 though)

My eating habits? Terrible – it’s all according to my study and work schedule. Yesterday I was running late to work (I was in a meeting at school till 1:30pm). I had an omelette sandwich in the morning but NOTHING else until 8pm at night. That’s DANGEROUS, but what could I have done? Told my student to wait while I grab some food?

But there are many things that are keeping my spirits up! I cannot wait to go back to the Frida show again, and ugh—just so many iTunesU videos that patiently await meeeee…

 

plato and the presocrates

midterm in 9 hours. strangely enough, i’m not panicking. I haven’t exactly mastered the material (well, ok – i have a pretty good idea of what i’d talk about on any of the given philosophers…) but i guess i sleep so little (read: rarely get to bed before 2am) that 12:23am seems… pretty early to call it a night.

this means

I HAVE OFFICIALLY GONE INSANE. at least i acknowledge it.

I really am a little to too hard on myself. and then sometimes when i have an OFF day (see last post) i berate myself for not working harder. it’s a tricky slop. this can’t be healthy, but this is how i’ve learned to cope. i am always preparing for that raining day.

my co-worked/ turned friend is leaving the country (and getting married). the office is having a goodbye party on wed and there’s no way i can make it. he said he’s having a friends only shindig on saturday (which is typically my non-work day) so hopefully i can go to that one.

there’s another commitment i want to get out of simply because i am on the verge of a physical collapse. i need to eat a real meal. i need to listen to some fun music rather than my own recorded study notes on my commutes.

but ughhhhh, i need to start my Henry IV Part I/12th Night comparative essay too.

you know what—i need to buckle down, finish prepping for my midterm and go to bed!

 

feeling slightly renewed. i rewatched season 2 of the UK Office before i went to bed, which wasn’t the most uplifting thing to do. it still rattles me how good of an actor Gervais used to be – back when he didn’t depend on disabled “fellas” for jokes. anyway, the pilot for his new show “Derek” is reminiscent of his old style, endearing, true, and relatable – so hopefully that turns out to be compelling.

I have a crap load of stuff to handle at work right now, due to the fact that no one bothered looking after the receivables whilst I was away.

still, i must and shall dedicate at least 3 hours of my day to rereading Descartes, Hume and Plato tonight. I MUST I MUST I MUST!

My Dad formatted his PC, which I’d just redone for him a couple of days ago. He accidentally deleted his internet and sould drivers – so yup, that’s on my to-do list tonight as well.

Hurrah~ not.

On a brighter note, I got my friend COMPLETELY OBSESSED with Sherlock (the BBC adaptation) and now she’s surviving by actually reading the original ACD stories!! I’m so proud!

renew

 

I completely revitalized my room the other day. I re-established all the wiring, etc and it’s such a relief! I have a total pet peeve for tangles of wires (confusing! dangerous!) and with the mounting number of devices I have plugged in, i just couldn’t avoid the problem any longer. So yeah – it’s all good now.

I just have to tackle my closet and those boxes of old papers and readings (dating back to high school, oh man). I am quite sentimental, and for some reason, want to be able to look at those sheets in 30 years time and feel all wobbly and nostalgic. BLAH – be gone.

My whole body is aching because i resumed my serious fitness regime a couple of days ago. I was planning to go for a swim this morning but had to deal with some unpleasant issues – and gah, i’d solved it by 10am but was no longer in the mood.

I have also begun cracking my fall readings – starting with Plato‘s “MENO”. It isn’t dry work, but it’s the trickle that starts the flood. Wish me luck~~