Tag Archives: literature

March Madness

Montreal was AMAZING! I have so much food porn to show you! But, I am 5 more papers and 4 exams away from the end of the term – so that’ll have to hold for now.

I’ve also been working on my summer plans. I’ve applied for positions at several literary publications (fingers crossed ~~) and submitted some of my poetry to annual journals and reviews. So far, one piece has been accepted.

All my hours from now till the end of April are planned out with little breathing room. If I stick to my agenda, I’ll survive. Hopefully with a smile.

 

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renewal

it’s only the 2nd days of the semester and already I have about 50 pages of readings to do. Granted, I’ve completed this week’s readings so it’s not exactly urgent, but I’m one who likes to be ahead with my course work (you never know when cramps are going to hit me). I had Shakespeare this afternoon, and everytime I walk away from that class completely enlightened. I don’t always agree with the prof’s arguments, but he has such a way of examining and clarifying and unfolding the text that no matter how many times I’ve read a certain play, he will show me ALL THIS STUFF I’ve missed. It’s so wonderful.

I’ve started on my Aristotle readings and so far it’s smooth sailing. The metaphysics are fun to read, but the logic stuff (post an, esp) is dull. i think I still have unfavourable emotional residue from Modern symbolic Logic. i did all right in that course, and thinking back – it was fun and interesting. But that’s me reminiscing after freaking out over the exam, so I don’t know how valid (harhar) my opinion is.

I started a new course with Kingwell, and I am so psyched about this course. After much shenanigans and money spent, I got myself a copy of ‘Philosophies of Art and Beauty’ – can’t wait!!!

Hmm, I’ve got my eyes on the Estee Lauder pleasures hand cream and the clarins bb cream. Together, they will set me back $00 (not including tax). The only time I’ve splurged on cosmetics is on these gorgeous Dior eye shadow pallet, and shishedo lipstick and liner… Do I deserve unecessary luxuaries? Shoppers has a $10 back for every $50 purchase… eeeeek! Should I?

PS: Kim Woo bin is killing it in school 2013

UPDATE: My make-up obsessed friend recommended that I get samples from Sephora before i buy them. Smart!!

 


checking in

How was everyone’s Christmas? Sorry I’ve been MIA, after my exams ended, I have been working everyday since Christmas Eve. I spent the 3 days been my last exam and work by watching films (was totally disappointed with Anna Karenina, and have mixed feelings about The Hobbit), skyping with my mom, and meeting with friends. I went shopping on Boxing day after work – and came home empty-handed. This is the norm for me, but I was so looking forward to buying a little something. The things I really wanted did not go on sale, and the things I didn’t care for were 50% off.

I am munching on a KFC sandwich right now. The meat is tough but it somewhat satisfies my craving for fried chicken.

I was supposed to get through my Aristotle readings, but I barely made a dent. I feel terrible for slacking off, but after 8.5 hours of work and trekking through all the slush and snow, I end up passing out on my bed. I did finish one of the novels for my CAN LIT class though. I’m starting on Margret Atwood’s ‘Alias Grace‘. I can’t say I’m absorbed, and I was never a huge fan of her writing – but hopefully, the story gets better.

I need to write more!! I have a ton of deadlines coming up and I don’t even have drafts for some of them. URGHH

I also need to reread those plays for my second semester of Shakespeare. I still have to meet up with people after New Years and it’s cutting into my prep time – but what can I do? Friends are important, and I need to loosen up a bit, too.

I went to see Frida last night. The museum is CRAZY crowded. It was a members only night, so I assumed it’d be dead – but I guess not. Sigh, I’d better go during the day time.

All my moaning and complaints about not having enough hours in a day are biased, I’ve been obsessed with this Korean drama called School 2013. It’s a refreshingly realistic (though occasionally exaggerated for dramatic effect) look at the Korean education system. I won’t fangirl about it here, but ARGH!!! One word: BROMANCE!

Meanwhile, I’ve been listening to a lot of jazz. It’s mostly Holiday themed – but still lovely. Do any of you use Songza? It takes me a while to find a playlist that is compatible with my taste, but it’s still pretty great!

 


in·com·mu·ni·ca·do

my brain and my will, that is. to cheer myself up, here is my TO LOOK FORWARD TO list after exams:

– THE HOBBIT

– SKYFALL (dad wants to see it)

– infinite trips to Frida & Diego (at the AGO, so sublime!)

– SLEEP

– ALL THINGS ANTHONY BOURDAIN

– some sort of massive steak dinner, i deserve it!

– READING FOR PLEASURE (i love reading plato, but it’s nice to read stuff i won’t be tested on)

– ANNA KARENINA (I know Keira is a bit hit and miss, but i love her and Joe Wright. All his films are to my taste)

– seeing friends (i’ve been the worst about meeting up. i simply don’t have time!)

– working out!!!

– geeking out w/ shakespeare fans!!

 


in the spirit

don’t say i didn’t warn you. once i get started on Moab, i simply can’t stop. here are 3% of the gems from Moab that resonate with me. some readers and reviewers complain that his writing style is too verbose. i can see why they think so – the word count alone is daunting to a casual reader. However, what is continuously astonishing to me (with each reread) is his remarkable ability to say precisely what i didn’t know about myself. I hate to say this, because it is untrue to some extent – but i relate to him. i say “untrue” because the context of his youth and mine are so astronomically different – and so our sets of worries and joys are also unidentical. but the feeling. Sigh.

i found these on the net (goodreads, etc – i rec that you buy the audiobook. nothing can beat fry’s own voice reading his own life. btw, his reading of the Fry Chronicles isn’t nearly as good. his voice thinned… because of the pipe smoking?)

“Life is sometimes novel-shaped, mocking the efforts of those authors who, in an effort to make their novels life-shaped, spurn the easy symmetry and cheap resonance of reality.”

“As I go clowning my sentimental way into eternity, wrestling with all my problems of estrangement and communion, sincerity and simulation, ambition and acquiescence, I shuttle between worrying whether I matter at all and whether anything else matters but me.”

“I used many times to touch my own chest and feel, under its asthmatic quiver, the engine of the heart and lungs and blood and feel amazed at what I sensed was the enormity of the power I possessed. Not magical power, but real power. The power simply to go on, the power to endure, that is power enough, but I felt I had also the power to create, to add, to delight, to amaze and to transform.”

“None of this is important in itself, but I feel somewhere that it has a lot to do with why I have always felt separate, why I have always felt unable to join in, to let go, to become part of the tribe, why I have always sniped or joked from the sidelines, why I have never, ever, lost my overwhelmingly self-conscious self-consciousness. It’s not all that bad. Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing – they are not all bad. Those devils have also been my angels. Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.”

“People who can change and change again are so much more reliable and happier than those who can’t”

“It is the useless things that make life worth living and that make life dangerous too: wine, love, art, beauty. Without them life is safe, but not worth bothering with.”

“And then I saw him and nothing was ever the same again.

The sky was never the same colour, the moon never the same shape: the air never smelt the same, food never tasted the same. Every word I knew changed its meaning, everything that once was stable and firm became as insubstantial as a puff of wind, and every puff of wind became a solid thing I could feel and touch.”

“Well I don’t know about you, but when I recall childhood pain, I don’t recall the pains of toothache, a thrashed backside, broken bones, stubbed toes, gashed knees or twisted ankles – I recall the pains of loneliness, boredom, abandonment, humiliation, rejection and fear. Those are the pains on which I might and, still sometimes do, dwell, and those pains, almost without exception, were inflicted on me by other children and by myself.”

“Choking with dry tears and raging, raging, raging at the absolute indifference of nature and the world to the death of love, the death of hope and the death of beauty, I remember sitting on the end of my bed, collecting these pills and capsules together and wondering why, why when I felt I had so much to offer, so much love, such outpourings of love and energy to spend on the world, I was incapable of being offered love, giving it or summoning the energy with which I knew I could transform myself and everything around me.”

“Music is everything and nothing. It is useless and no limit can be set on its use. Music takes me to places of illimitable sensual and insensate joy, accessing points of ecstasy that no angelic lover could ever locate, or plunging me into gibbering weeping hells of pain that no torturer could devise. Music makes me write this sort of maundering adolescent nonsense without embarrassment. Music is in fact the dog’s bollocks. Nothing else comes close.”

“Music was a kind of penetration. Perhaps absorption is a less freighted word. The penetration or absorption of everything into itself. I don’t know if you have ever taken LSD, but when you do so the doors of perception, as Aldous Huxley, Jim Morrison and their adherents ceaselessly remind us, swing wide open. That is actually the sort of phrase, unless you are William Blake, that only makes sense when there is some LSD actually swimming about inside you. In the cold light of the cup of coffee and banana sandwich that are beside me now it appears to be nonsense, but I expect you to know what it is taken to mean. LSD reveals the whatness of things, their quiddity, their essence. The wateriness of water is suddenly revealed to you, the carpetness of carpets, the woodness of wood, the yellowness of yellow, the fingernailness of fingernails, the allness of all, the nothingness of all, the allness of nothing. For me music gives access to everyone of these essences, but at a fraction of the social or financial cost of a drug and without the need to cry ‘Wow!’ all the time, which is LSD’s most distressing and least endearing side effects.

…Music in the precision of its form and the mathematical tyranny of its laws, escapes into an eternity of abstraction and an absurd sublime that is everywhere and nowhere at once. The grunt of rosin-rubbed catgut, the saliva-bubble blast of a brass tube, the sweaty-fingered squeak on a guitar fret, all that physicality, all that clumsy ‘music making’, all that grain of human performance…transcends itself at the moment of its happening, that moment when music actually becomes, as it makes the journey from the vibrating instrument, the vibrating hi-fi speaker, as it sends those vibrations across to the human tympanum and through to the inner ear and into the brain, where the mind is set to vibrate to frequencies of its own making.

The nothingness of music can be moulded by the mood of the listener into the most precise shapes or allowed to float as free as thought; music can follow the academic and theoretical pattern of its own modality or adhere to some narrative or dialectical programme imposed by a friend, a scholar or the composer himself. Music is everything and nothing. It is useless and no limit can be set to its use. Music takes me to places of illimitable sensual and insensate joy, accessing points of ecstasy that no angelic lover could ever locate, or plunging me into gibbering weeping hells of pain that no torturer could ever devise. Music makes me write this sort of maundering adolescent nonsense without embarrassment. Music is in fact the dog’s bollocks. Nothing else comes close.”


snail pace

[it’s 12noon right now–i just left this sitting in the drafts folder, that’s all]

here is the list of things I’d like to have completed by Tuesday Night. I’d allotted hours for each for practicality’s sake:

– Thesis & Outline for AFMAMH paper (4)

– Thesis & Outline for Henry IV Part 1 & Twelfth Night (3)

– Symb. Logic Unit 6 Review (8)

– Brainstorm thesis for Ling. Anthro paper (2)

– Symb. Logic Quiz 8 (3)

All of the above add up to 20 hours. I have 10 hours left of today. I have 10 hours free tomorrow. ARGHHH

OK. I shall be calm, and light some candles. It’s a lot of work (and that doesn’t include my readings for the second half of the week!) but I can do it!

UPDATE: Finished reading and highlighting Ch 3-5 for Ling. Anthro!

UPDATE: Have a fuzzy thesis for Shakespeare!! Need to reread second half of 12th Night though.

UPDATE: Attempted symb logic – gave up. shall try again later.

UPDATE: UGHHHHHHHH, I want KFC! I just watched a bunch of k-pop reality shows. Why do I do this?!?!

UPDATE (Nov 13): finished rereading 12th Night. The thesis is now pulling in too many directions.

UPDATE: Have fuzzy idea for AFMAMH.


downer days

my day started brilliantly, which is why i feel extra crappy at the moment. I worked super hard for a task and didn’t get a satisfactory result. feeling kinda low… so i channeled my anger/self-pity towards housekeeping. It actually made me feel better. I out things into perspective – it’s easy for me to obsess over everything, but i know this isn’t the end of the world (yet), so ….ahahaha, run on sentences!!! if only my students knew how terrible my private writings are.

OK – time to get back to work~

Hope everyone is having a better evening than I am. And even if you’re not, remember that “tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it!”*

PS. *Anne of Green Gables, of course!